my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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