This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
