Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
