I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
