i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
