it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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