Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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