he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
