one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
