Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
