Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
