Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
