Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
