I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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