I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
