I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
