I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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