one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Damn victory sex feels great
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize