btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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