The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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