Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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