So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
