thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
