I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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