if you like me you must not know who I am
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize