The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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