your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
