Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
