You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize