Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
