My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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