i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
