And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
