isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
