Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
