Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We talked him into tasing himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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