U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
