i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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