If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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