U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
