Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
