Betty ford says i'm here all night
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
