I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
