Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
