Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
