I didn't shave. On purpose
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
