the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
