I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
