Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
