i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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