she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
