I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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