When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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