Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
