I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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