ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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