everyone is single if you try hard enough
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
