He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
