I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
