Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
