So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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