We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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