I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
