i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just blew my weed a kiss
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
